I hope You'll Look to me Again _LietPol_

      When we sat there like that. I could hardly recall a time where we weren't like that... hand in hand, eyes to the sky, peaceful scenery surrounding us. Yet...

     I let him take you away, let him drag you to something that would effect your life, and worst of all, I... I sat there looking at you, laughing, because your face... was utterly.. ridiculous.

     That's not how I really felt, I was terrified to see you being taken from me like that, but.. I knew well that I couldn't do a thing about it. Truthfully, you were the one who'd saved me, and I was too scared to be your hero, I was scared that if I'd changed positions with you, that, you would be considered the weak one. You would look to me for help more often, and... what if I couldn't give it to you? What if I let you down?

    I didn't want that sort of obligation, so, I let him take you from me. Do I regret it?

I do.

   I had nightmares often in the time where we didn't see one another, or speak to one another. I woke in the middle of the night in cold sweats, screaming.... it worried the people of my house, it worried my boss... but I couldn't help it. The first person I'd ever made a true friend of mine, I'd ever gotten close to, had been stolen, so.. easily...

   The guilt of sitting there, watching it happen, burned a hole in my heart that will never be full again, because even though I sit here with you now, I still think back to that time where I couldn't. I think back to the work you must have constantly been put through.

  The reason you and I had made an alliance in the first place, was to ensure safety, wasn't it? Wasn't that what you'd been looking for?

    If you want an explanation to why I hadn't taken you seriously each time you'd told me Russia was plotting to attack me... its because, I thought I deserved it, but, I didn't want to show it. I don't know why I didn't want to, perhaps it was just my way of punishing myself, for letting him take you from me.

    I promise to you I will get better, and, sometime in the future, when you rely on me again, I hope... I don't let you down.